- Homosexual: sexual attraction to houses and other building like structures.
- Heterosexual: an undying lust for Macklemore.
- Asexual: attraction to any and all things beginning with the letter A.
- Pansexual: a desire for pots, pans, and other kitchen utensils.
- Polysexual: sexual attraction to polygons.
- Bisexual: Attraction to the 9th century Chinese army officer Bi Shiduo.
- Demisexual: Never ending love of demi lovato
i got 99 problems and probably about 94 of them come from my lack of motivation to do anything
Client: I threw out that black pen, it was out of ink.
Me: What black pen?
Client: The one that was lying on your tablet.
Me: You threw out my $150 Wacom pen?
Client: I tried writing with it and it didn’t work. It must’ve been out of ink.
My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms 23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed
you need less jesus
I just had a straight guy tell me “Gah I love lesbians” and before I could even say anything, he added, “because, ya know, they like the same thing I do and sometimes it’s nice to get advice from a girl instead of guys who think making love is just repeatedly putting your dick in something, ya know?” And I have never been more proud of the human race.
i was very mad and then i wasn’t
i think i can accurately say that i can crush a man’s head with my thighs
Thoughtful underwear with hidden powers. For every pair purchased you fund 7 pads to a girl in need.
OH SHIT YOU GUYS THIS COMPANY IS MAKING UNDERWEAR THAT IS STAIN RESISTANT, ANTIMICROBIAL, AND WILL ABSORB UP TO 6 TEASPOONS OF LIQUID BUT STILL LOOKS FUCKING SEXY
AND DID I MENTION THIS PART:
For every pair of THINX you buy, you help one girl in the developing world stay in school by providing her with seven washable, reusable cloth pads.
AND WHY IS THAT SUCH A BIG DEAL? HERE’S WHY:
After doing some research, Agrawal says she found that more than 100 million girls in the developing world were missing a week of school because of their periods, and using things such as leaves, old rags, or plastic bags in the place of sanitary pads.
THE SIZES RUN FROM XS TO XXL AND THE PRICES ARE NOT INSANE, THEY’RE OBVIOUSLY HIGHER THAN THOSE 5 FOR $10 SALES AT TARGET BUT YOU WON’T HAVE TO THROW THEM OUT BECAUSE YOU MISCALCULATED YOUR FLOW AND BLED ALL OVER THEM BEFORE YOU COULD GET TO A BATHROOM
I’M SORRY FOR SHOUTING I’M JUST REALLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS
LIKE HOLY FUCKBASKET IT’S ABOUT DAMN TIME
What some of the biggest websites looked like at the beginning
Talk about embarrassing baby pictures.
and then there’s newgrounds, which… um… well
compare it with now…
humanized bowser concept